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“…out with a whimper…”: The SHARK WEEK 2015 FINAL WRAP-UP

SHARK WEEK 2015: Final Wrap Up – Sharksanity: The Return and Shark Island

on Discovery Channel


Pros: Shark Island paints a detailed portrait of a population in the midst of a genuine shark crisis

Cons: Sharksanity is a waste of time

After numerous “big-hitter” programs premiered early and had been repeated throughout Shark Week 2015, this annual block of Discovery Channel programming devoted to the ultimate undersea predators faded out with, well, a bit of a whimper. Saturday, July 11 saw the premiere of a new volume of Sharksanity, a show which first showed in 2014 that more or less acts as a sort of pat on the back for Shark Week producers. Acting as a sort of “greatest hits” lineup, Sharksanity: The Return chronicled the best moments from the week’s programming, placing an emphasis on jaw-dropping spectacle rather than on well-founded science. As might be expected then, South African researcher Dickie Chivell featured prominently: it was he, after all, who had not only unveiled “Chewie,” the underwater measuring device during Island of the Mega Shark, but also climbed into a decidedly flimsy-looking “ghost cage” which placed him right in the midst of a swarm of aggressive great whites. Chivell has made quite a name for himself in the past two years (2014 saw him climb aboard a floating female shark decoy – and come precariously close to being a meal), and if Sharksanity is any indication, he’ll be back for another round next year (if not before and provided he’s not eaten).

7886I salute you, Dickie Chivell.  You’re freaking nuts.

One of the main “points of interest” (???) during Sharksanity was the unveiling of a series of viewer’s choice awards which celebrated some of the best moments from the 28-year history of Shark Week. More amazing to me than the list itself was the amount of similar countdown-type shows that Discovery Channel puts out there year in and year out. In fact, just prior to 2015’s Shark Week, the channel aired a program called Shark Week Sharktacular, hosted by filmmaker Eli Roth (who later hosted Shark Week’s Shark After Dark aftershow), that did almost the same thing, running through the best events in Shark Week history as voted by fans. Hey, if Discovery Channel didn’t keep telling us how awesome Shark Week is, who would? Seriously though, I find these sorts of “congratulations; good job” sort of shows to be very annoying: I’d rather be watching, I don’t know, actual shark documentaries, but maybe that’s just me.

Narwhals_breachYeah, but when does NARWAHL WEEK start?

Sunday, July 12, the last day of Shark Week 2015, offered up a final, noticeably low-key show: Shark Island chronicled the efforts of scientists and locals living on Reunion Island, a French territory in the Indian Ocean, to come to terms with an increasing number of shark attacks. In the last four years, seventeen attacks, seven of them fatal, have occurred offshore, prompting the government to make ocean swimming and surfing illegal in the name of public safety. While the local government employs a team of armed “shark watchers” to monitor the coast during specific times designated to allow local surfers back into the water (and it seems that the locals on Reunion Island do love their surfing), American marine biologist Craig O’Connell starts to investigate the reasons for this increase in attacks while looking for appropriate ways of promoting safety without harming the local shark and fish populations.

shark-week-2015_0Craig O’Connell preparing for a dive into the (presumably?) shark-infested waters off Reunion Island.

More ominous than many of the week’s other documentaries, Shark Island features interviews with concerned locals and attack survivors which allow viewers to really get into the mindset of the population of this island. Continuous images of the shark-related graffiti which peppers the island speaks to the severity of the situation, and though it’s difficult for me to really make sense of people continuing to surf in an environment that has become the most dangerous area for shark attacks in the world, the real question is what has led to this unfortunate condition. The documentary examines the notion that nearby fish nurseries and wildlife refuges are to blame, but more or less comes to the conclusion – surprise! – that human behavior is responsible. Decreasing fish populations in the open ocean where sharks used to hunt for food has drawn the creatures closer to shore in the hunt for a meal, and an increasing amount of seaside development has caused the nearby waters to become murky: exactly the type of conditions that bull sharks thrive in.

reunion-islandReunion Island…but in recent days, a cloud has appeared on the horizon of this beautiful resort community – a cloud in the shape of a killer shark.

The scientific portion of this program is somewhat limited to specific segments: a decent amount of time during the program is devoted to an explanation of the bull shark, arguably the most dangerous shark in the world in terms of the sheer number of attacks on humans. These sharks are known for their aggressive behavior, and during breeding season, males are pumped up with the highest testosterone levels in the animal kingdom – which may explain why most of the Reunion attacks occur during the winter months. Bull sharks’s poor eyesight is likely also a contributing factor in these attacks: since they patrol muddy waters, the sharks presumably mistake errant human feet or hands for typical prey items, backing off after they realize they’ve literally bitten into something they can’t chew. In any case, Shark Island certainly creates a portrait of a population facing a serious shark crisis of the type seen in the first Jaws film.

Bull_Shark_2_600The bull shark – arguably the world’s most dangerous.

As expected, Shark Island is capably made, with amazing camerawork showing just how picturesque Reunion Island truly is. It also has an appropriate amount of pathos to it, but if anything, it’s a bit lacking in the shark department: mostly talk, with little footage of the creatures actually on the prowl. Hence, I’d call this an interesting but fairly mediocre Shark Week program, one that’s probably the most interesting for its depiction of the local culture and for its finale, in which various non-lethal anti-shark methods are examined. I started to lose hope when the narration began to suggest that a mass-extermination of sharks was the only way to stop the ongoing attacks, but the show actually finishes with a more conservation-minded conclusion. I’d give this particular program three stars out of five.

55958ab8498fd.imageThe shark-related graffiti on Reunion Island figures prominently into the look and feel of Shark Island.

Overall, Shark Week 2015 gave a viewer precisely what would be expected. Many of the shows here prescribed to the “bigger is better” mentality, and numerous programs made it their goal to find bigger, bolder, and all-around badder sharks. Several of 2015’s shows continued storylines that had been started in previous years, but I found many of these to be among the week’s more forgettable offerings. Year in and year out, there are major breakthroughs in shark-related research, and I was generally impressed by the level of new scientific information featured throughout the week: it’s always a good thing when I, admitted shark junkie, learn something new from Shark Week.

hammerhead shark

Without doubt, the best thing about Shark Week 2015 was the lack of the type of hokey, utterly phony programs like the Megalodon mockumentaries that were feature events in years past. Hopefully, this demonstrates to other cable “educational” channels that a solid lineup of responsible and factual programming can be as (if not more) effective than outright sensationalism put forth just to gets butts in the seat. Considering that Discovery has planned a Shweekend (read: “Shark Weekend”) event for late August, the deluge of shark programming isn’t over quite yet, and one can only hope the quality of these documentaries continues to head on an upward trajectory.


Shark Week 2015:

The Outstanding: Shark Planet

The Great: Sharks of the Shadowland, Tiburones: Sharks of Cuba, Island of the Mega Shark

The Good: Shark Alley, Super Predator, Ninja Sharks, Bride of Jaws, Shark Trek, Monster Mako

The Mediocre: Shark Island, Shark Clans, United Sharks of America, Return of the Great White Serial Killer, Alien Sharks: Close Encounters

The Ugly: Sharksanity



A Hit and a Miss as SHARK WEEK 2015 Starts to Winds Down

SHARK WEEK 2015: Night Six – Sharks of the Shadowland and Shark Clans

on Discovery Channel


Pros: Sharks of the Shadowlands is captivating

Cons: Lack of hard evidence hurts Shark Clans

Discovery Channel’s annual Shark Week typically begins with a bang, enticing viewers with the promise of huge aggressive sharks and lots of frantic underwater footage. The 2015 edition of this programming block was no different, offering up a few days of jaw-dropping, undeniably outrageous and compelling documentaries. By later in the week however, things clearly start to wind down, and low-key premieres are the order of the day. While the vast majority of viewers might not be as interested in these less obviously buzz-worthy programs, it’s during this stretch of Shark Week that the more scientifically-minded shows, ones that are perhaps more geared towards the hardcore shark enthusiast, start to pop up, and for that crowd, the pair of documentaries which aired on Friday, July 10th would be mightily interesting.

broadnose-sevengill-sharkSevengill shark – as the name suggests, it has seven gill slits instead of the normal five that other sharks possess.

First up was Sharks of the Shadowland, which dealt with a team of researchers in New Zealand trying to learn more about the hostile sevengill sharks that inhabit a stretch of salt water fjords and coves. These sharks have become quite a nuisance to a team of divers whose job it is to rid this area of a particularly hardy variety of invasive seaweed, making the task of exterminating the weeds all but impossible. Since so little is known about sevengill sharks, marine biologist Jenny Oliver along with shark researcher Kina Scollay and commercial diver Ross Funnell set about gathering information relating to their various habits. What they find out is that these sharks are extremely territorial and completely unafraid of humans, exhibiting pack behavior as they stalk the divers in the murky and genuinely eerie waters of the fjords.

The Sharks of the Shadowland turn out to be very bold and aggressive – particularly at night.

Filmed in an absolutely beautiful and entirely remote location, Sharks of the Shadowland might sound like an unlikely choice to be the most nerve-wracking program of Shark Week 2015, but I think it holds its own with heavy hitters like Island of the Mega Shark or Bride of Jaws. What the sevengills lack in size and mass (they’re relatively small at a maximum of ten feet in length and 200 pounds in weight – nothing compared to the 18-foot, one and a half ton behemoths that tried to eat Dickie Chivell earlier in the week) they make up for in sheer cunning and sneakiness. These creatures are downright aggressive, and seem to be lurking menacingly in the corner of virtually every underwater shot present in the Shadowland documentary. The program culminates in a nighttime dive when things get really dicey since the sharks work themselves into a near-feeding frenzy, approaching the divers from all sides. While I think most shark-related programs tend to overexaggerate the amount of danger divers and researchers are put in while underwater in an attempt to add tension to the proceedings, the situations depicted in Shadowland seemed genuinely hectic and risky. If anything, the element of danger here may have actually been downplayed a bit, which may be a Shark Week first.

151920.002.01.197_20150630_120421They may not be the most physically imposing sharks of Shark Week, but these sevengills make for some really sketchy underwater sequences.

Friday’s second premiere was of Shark Clans, which chronicles the Fox Research Team of Australia. Founded by the legendary Rodney Fox, himself the survivor of a brutal great white attack who’s known for his underwater photography and for developing the anti-shark cage, this group has, since the year 2000, amassed a database of hundreds of individual sharks that prowl the Australian waters, and the documentary chronicles their efforts to photograph and tag large great whites. Set up somewhat like a reality show, Shark Clans shows the day-to-day operations of the Fox team: aside from attempting to build and update their roster of sharks, this team also operates an eco-tourism business that allows normal folks to dive with large great whites. There’s lots of footage of large predators in feeding mode here, and the jaw-dropping moment for me occurred when a shark sporting huge, gaping wounds all over its face shows up. Along the way, the program also discusses Fox’s theories that great whites actually travel in “clans” of two to five individuals. A large portion of the research the team is conducting involves finding out more about what more about these social groups and what they mean: for instance, do the sharks in these so-called “clans” stay together all the time, or do they only meet up at opportune feeding events or during breeding season?

CJlcbs-WEAAlTMhEfforts to photograph and catalog individual great whites – but do these creatures actually form social groups?

The notion that great whites maintain some sort of long lasting relationships with others of their species is a potential game changer in the understanding of the creatures. For decades, sharks have been known as solitary hunters, more or less fending for themselves as they traverse large segments of the world’s oceans. It seems that several of the programs during Shark Week 2015 sought to suggest that sharks aren’t nearly as unintelligent or belligerent as they’ve been made out to be, though (as seems to be the case with any and every ongoing shark-related research) much more investigation needs to be conducted before solid conclusions can be drawn. Still, evidence of shark intelligence, personality, and social behavior could go a long way in getting the public behind conservation efforts, and the whole subject is a fascinating one to ponder.

maxresdefaultShark Clans does feature some magnificent images of white sharks in their natural habitat.

And pondering is about all one can do after watching this show because as it is, Shark Clans promotes thought and discussion but doesn’t really have the hard facts to back up its main hypotheses. The program builds to a conclusion where a large breeding female is equipped with a satellite tag, and the information gained from this creature could unlock many secrets about the life cycle of these animals and how they interact with one another. That information isn’t actually revealed in the program however, and I almost wish producers would have waited to air this film until they could finalize the proposed theories and back them up with evidence.


Even if neither Sharks of the Shadowland nor Shark Clans were quite the barn burners that one might expect from Shark Week, both were quite intriguing in their own ways. I loved the photography and moody look of the Shadowland program, and might even say it was the episode of this year’s Shark Week that stood out the most for me in terms of its visuals. The provocative Shark Clans may be most notable as a piece that later shows can expand and follow up on; it wasn’t particularly bad, and I loved the sequences of large great whites in action, but in my mind, the lack of concise evidence mitigated its arguments. Personally, I kind of liked the unassuming tone of both of these documentaries: they provided a definite contrast to the more loud and obnoxious programming that the Discovery Channel had unleashed previously in the week and proved that not every Shark Week show has to be ridiculous to be effective.

Four stars for Sharks of the Shadowland, three for Shark Clans.


SHARK FEST 2015: Nat Geo Wild Gets in on the Action With Two New Docs

SHARK WEEK 2015 Extra: Shark Fest – Shark Alley and United Sharks of America

 on Nat Geo Wild


Pros: Shark Alley is an outstanding nature doc, and United Sharks is a commendably levelheaded and fact-based examination of American shark attacks

Cons:  Not as slam bang a block of programming as what Discovery Channel typically provides

Cashing in on the wild popularity of “that other thing” (read: Discovery Channel’s Shark Week), Nat Geo Wild channel let loose with their own block of shark-related programming (labeled “Shark Fest”) on Sunday, July 5, 2015. This opening night saw the premieres of a pair of documentaries, the more or less straight-forward nature documentary Shark Alley and a program in United Sharks of America that examined the most “dangerous” shark states in the US. This type of program typically rubs me the wrong way since they almost effortlessly confirm sharks as the “eating machines” they were made out to be in Jaws and any number of other Hollywood films, but United Sharks actually is somewhat more responsible in its approach than the usual “I was bitten” program. All in all, these two programs are a worthy supplement to the generally outstanding Discovery Channel lineup.

Prepare for some eye-popping images in Shark Alley.

Shark Alley stands as a typically excellent National Geographic wildlife documentary, one that focuses its attention on a somewhat unusual topic. Essentially, this program deals with the “sardine run” that occurs each winter off the South African coast, in which the small fish travel some 700-plus miles from the Capetown area to KwaZulu-Natal. Unsurprisingly, the concentration of prey created when billions upon billions of sardines pack together and begin their migration peaks the interest of a seemingly endless array of predators. According to the program, the sardine run leads to the biggest predation event in the world, and the documentary does a fine job of giving the viewer some indication of how large it really is through the use of almost unbelievable aerial shots that show a huge mass of sardines drifting much like an oil slick would just off the South African beaches.

Shark versus seal.

Instead of exclusively focusing on the sardines themselves however, the main point of interest in Shark Alley are the various species that prey on them. To that end, the documentary includes some astounding underwater images of sea birds dive-bombing the wriggling whirlwind of fish as well as seals, dolphins, various species of shark, and even full-size whales snacking on the sardines. As is typically the case in National Geographic programs, while the main narrative about the migration continues, a viewer is treated to brief asides that serve to explain various other facets of the creatures being seen in the documentary. Thus, footage of a great white shark stalking a mother seal searching for her pup as well as explanations about shark physiology are able to be incorporated into the proceedings. Well-rounded and top-notch in most every area, I think Shark Alley works best as a graphic illustration of the complexities of the food chain: it’s pretty amazing to learn that the sardine migration is not only essential for the survival of these small fish, but also key in the life cycle of dozens of other marine creatures and even birds.

3e1f886033e1fd9301013af3001291beBirds getting in on the sardine action.

United Sharks of America is a bit of a different animal, playing as a countdown through the top five most dangerous regions in the US with regard to shark attacks. Various attack survivors tell their stories, while a panel of shark experts attempts to explain why these incidents took place. The occasional reenactment pops up to get the viewer more into the stories, and the program does include some rather graphic images of the resulting wounds. As I mentioned, this is usually the type of shark-related program that I find distasteful: sharks have been portrayed in the media as evil, man-eating creatures for decades, resulting in a public that for a long period of time had no problem exterminating them completely. United Sharks is slightly better than the average program in its portrayal of sharks however: all the attacks chronicled here were non-fatal, and most of the interview subjects explain that they have no ill-feelings toward their attackers. The documentary actually ends with a segment focusing on a group of survivors who have taken up shark conservation efforts in the aftermath of their attacks.

ussharkattacks_460What really struck me about this program was how much of what it was revealing seemed to me to be common sense. The top five most “dangerous” states for shark attacks are precisely ones that I could have predicted beforehand: North Carolina (25 attacks in the last decade), California (31 attacks), South Carolina (38), Hawaii (40), and Florida with a “whopping” 219 attacks. I say “whopping” in quotes because, as the film points out, 219 attacks is still statistically negligible: Florida not only has a high population and a huge amount of coastline, but also gets some 26 million tourists in some three month periods – the overall odds of being attacked by a shark still level out at some 11,000,000:1 and 99 percent of those attacked in Florida survive. More common sense sorts of information is provided by the shark experts who point out ways to avoid potentially dangerous situations: stay out of murky water, avoid active feeding areas, stay in groups…the kind of stuff that people really should be doing anyway since many shark attacks occur simply because these creatures misidentify human feet or hands as potential food items. The vast majority of shark attacks pretty clearly demonstrate that most sharks have no real interest in eating people for food: if they really wanted to, large sharks could very easily kill and devour even a large human victim. That they typically simply instigate an exploratory bite then back away shows that humans typically aren’t on the menu, but given the shark’s killer hardware, it’s not a shock that they still inflict brutal and sometimes fatal damage to people.

il_fullxfull.296482482Even an exploratory bite can be deadly when you’re working with this sort of hardware.

Overall, the opening night of Shark Fest was worthwhile though not remarkable. The Shark Alley documentary was extremely well-made with some magnificent photography (a shot filmed through a sea-side cliff showing the commotion going on out at sea is jaw-dropping), and United Sharks of America is more progressive in its underlying message than I would have thought. Even if this second program didn’t really provide much new information to me specifically, there’s no doubt it would be helpful and interesting to viewers who might not have as clear an understanding of sharks and their behavioral patterns. These two shows appear to be the only brand new documentaries aired on Nat Geo Wild throughout the week, and though I probably wouldn’t label either as must-see television, they’re far from being a complete waste of time – if you’re interested and they’re on, check them out.

Four stars for Shark Alley, three for United Sharks of America.


Finally! Discovery Channel Does SHARK WEEK RIGHT: Night Five of 2015 Edition

SHARK WEEK 2015: Night Five – Shark Planet

on Discovery Channel


Pros: An extraordinary, well-rounded and responsible documentary that’s on par with the best that National Geographic and PBS have to offer

Cons: This’ll be the one show that the majority of Shark Week viewers choose not to watch…

Buried deep in the middle of Shark Week 2015, Discovery Channel finally unleashed the well-rounded, superbly-made, and, perhaps most importantly, respectful documentary about sharks that I had been desiring all along. Let’s not get things confused: I’ve been watching Shark Week since it first debuted some 28 years ago (my dad tells a funny story about how excited I got as a little kid in the lead-up to the event), and I’m probably well aware of not all but most of the information contained in this (and most) Shark Week programming. For the average viewer who maybe doesn’t have that base of knowledge to draw upon when considering this frequently misunderstood species however, a comprehensive, honest and compelling nature documentary of the variety that National Geographic and PBS are known for can go along way in changing public perception about these creatures. Shark Planet is that very documentary.

A co-production between the Discovery Channel and the BBC, Shark Planet is a feature length (two hours with commercials) program that does an exemplary job of covering the bases with regard to the ocean’s most infamous and perhaps most formidable predators. The main gist of this documentary is to briefly chronicle various shark species, accomplished by a sort of tour of the world’s oceans and the sharks that inhabit them. Starting off in South Africa, camera crews travel across the globe, from the Arctic to Indonesia, the Great Barrier Reef to the Graveyard of the Atlantic off the North Carolina coast. Numerous species of sharks are documented during the course of the show, and all the while, Shark Planet makes a dedicated effort to explain various aspects of shark physiology and behavior, even including a segment about mating behavior and birthing. Although previous Shark Week shows have covered aspects of some of these topics throughout the week, I was pleased that at least one “total package” documentary made an appearance since I think it’s important that sharks are (at least for one night) presented not just as the “eating machines” that Richard Dreyfus passed them off as in Jaws, but as a complex and fascinating species that’s worthy not only of respect, but of tolerance.

While the great white (understandably perhaps) gets the most screen time, one of the best things about Shark Planet was that it devoted significant attention to lesser known species, including several that I can’t recall having ever seen during Shark Week before. An early segment in the program examines the feeding habits of the undeniably strange tassled wobbegong shark of Indonesia, a creature that mimics the look of the sea bed, tricking prey into an ambush attack. The show goes on to feature such relatively unknown varieties as the primitive Port Jackson shark (notable for its corkscrew-shaped eggs) and even the epaulette shark (which has adapted to be able to survive for periods of time outside of water). I was also impressed that the production spent a good ten minutes or so on skates and rays, close relatives of the shark that are typically ignored during Shark Week. To be honest, the section of Shark Planet devoted to the giant manta and Mobula rays was about the most breathtaking segment in the documentary.

As great as the information provided during this film was, it was the truly amazing visuals that put the film in a league of its own. Most Shark Week programs are no slouch in terms of providing some truly outstanding camerawork, but Shark Planet took things to the next level, utilizing all sorts of technology to capture unbelievable and frequently mesmerizing images. One such scene was filmed under the icecap in the Canadian arctic, with divers in pursuit of the Greenland shark. Not only were images of this creature and its habitat otherworldly, but the camera crews even manage to document the small parasites which cling to the eyeballs of virtually all members of this species, making them virtually blind. Another phenomenal moment occurs when a crew in Mexico documents the yearly gathering of Mobula rays which culminates in the creatures flying out of the water in a display presumed to be related to attracting a mate. I can safely say that I’ve never seen anything like this footage in all my years of Shark Week, and these two moments are just the tip of the iceberg of what is offered up in the documentary. I’ve really got to hand it to the camera crews who did a wonderful job of photographing all these creatures in some very remote and inhospitable environments, but also to the editors who went through what had to be a mass of footage and made a finely-tuned, very informative and entertaining finished film – this documentary had to take a long time to put together and the end result is magnificent.

One of the things that’s long been lacking from Shark Week programming as far as I’m concerned was a serious discussion about how numerous shark species are being pushed to the brink of extinction due to overfishing. It’s pretty sad when any number of speakers in these programs claim that we’re just beginning to learn more about this species now as many varieties are on the verge of disappearing from the world’s oceans forever. Shark Planet not only acknowledges this dire situation in a sober and responsible manner, but makes a valiant effort to try and change public perception about these creatures. A moment in which the non-verbal communication of great whites is discussed hints at the fact that these animals aren’t the hulking titans of terror they’re typically portrayed as, and the fact that this documentary creates and maintains a sense of wonder about these animals really does more in my opinion for the shark species than any number of the “Look at the big predator!” documentaries that Shark Week seems to specialize in lately.

I admit it: when Shark Planet began with a monologue about how it was going to show “other sides of shark behavior…not just feeding,” I was more than a bit skeptical: I’ve seen my fair share of gnashing bared teeth so far in Shark Week 2015 and those seem to be the go-to images that this event builds itself around. Imagine my surprise then when this documentary, complimented by an appropriately majestic music score, turned out do exactly what it proposed and wound up as a highlight of the programming block. About all I could hope for is that viewers watching Shark Week for the more sensational and/or ridiculous shows stuck with this one: not only was it gorgeous in terms of the visuals and images it provided, but it also was the most factual and level-headed documentary that’s likely to air all week. While most of Discovery’s shark-related programs are enjoyable enough for what they are, this may be one of the few that I’d honestly urge interested viewers to track down. Highly recommended.



A Sobering, but Maybe Too Optimistic, Shark Conservation Doc: EXTINCTION SOUP




Pros: Thought-provoking material and a very worthy cause
Cons: Not quite as compelling a film as one would want; ending seems a bit optimistic

Partway through director Philip Waller’s 2014 documentary Extinction Soup, a segment focuses on the way that sharks are represented in popular media. Smack in the middle of 2015’s Shark Week seems about as good a time as any to examine this idea – one that is conspicuously absent from any of the Discovery Channel programming. Truth be told, Shark Week has its own part to play in the misrepresentation of this species: while supposing to generate interest in sharks, Discovery Channel constantly emphasizes the amount of danger their film crew and divers are in whenever sharks are around while honing their cameras in on gnashing teeth and aggressive behavior. Make no mistake about it: sharks are predators and predators kill other living things to survive – but human beings do the same, though most consumers are far removed from the actual slaughter process. That subtle but nonetheless ominous music playing throughout most of the Shark Week documentaries really tells a viewer all he needs to know about what tone is being sought in these programs.


Just yesterday, browsing news on the internet I was struck and someone disappointed by prominent stories about shark attacks – every time anyone is attacked by a shark it’s major news, which only serves to blow the actual danger these creatures represent way out of proportion. Anyway one looks at it, from statistics (40 million human beings in the ocean every year, 10 fatal shark attacks) to actual underwater encounters, it just doesn’t seem to me like these creatures have any real interest in ending human life – one is more likely to be killed by a tipped vending machine or falling coconut (to say nothing of other human beings) than by a shark. Waller’s documentary attempts to change the way a viewer thinks about sharks, playing in a manner similar to a Michael Moore film since the director himself plays a role in the ongoing action.


Is this end result worth it?

Extinction Soup starts out by introducing the viewer to director Waller, a former child actor who hit rock bottom after his career stalled out. After discovering a love of surfing, Waller spent some time in Hawaii and became aware of shark advocacy through fellow daredevil Jimmy Hall, who also operated a shark tour business on the side. Following Hall’s death in a base jumping accident, Waller attempts to uncover why his friend became so interested in saving sharks, and quickly comes to realize the splendor of these creatures – and the danger the species finds itself in. A large part of Extinction Soup deals specifically with efforts to curb shark finning, a process by which the fins of these animals are unceremoniously removed, typically with the still-living creature being dumped back into the ocean to die. Asian markets fuel the demand for these fins, as shark fin soup is considered a delicacy in mainstream China and other Oriental nations, but the increasing demand has seen an explosion in the number of sharks killed over the past few decades.


While any loss of human life is unfortunate, I’m not sure one can justify killing millions upon millions of sharks over a handful of fatal attacks.

While working to tell its more far-reaching story, a variety of shorter segments play out onscreen: a typical group of marine biologists explain the importance that sharks play in the health of the oceans, Waller and fellow advocate Stephanie Brendl’s efforts to push a bill banning the possession of shark fins through the Hawaii legislature, an examination of the “cultural phenomenon” of shark fin soup. Arguably the most interesting segment of the documentary is the aforementioned one dealing with the misrepresentation of sharks in the world media, and one gets the idea that this topic alone could be stretched out to feature length. Things wrap up with a semi-hopeful ending – would one expect anything else from a conservation documentary? – but it was somewhat difficult for me to entirely buy into the optimism.

shark-finning-in-costa-ricaThis is not only unbelievably disgusting, but immensely sad.

Images of fin-less sharks left on the ocean floor to die are pretty horrible to watch, and the piles of dead sharks in the film let a viewer know that the positive events depicted in Extinction Soup are only the beginning of what would have to be an ongoing process if many species of shark are to survive into the future. Honestly, I think public perception would have to undergo a significant paradigm shift in order for any real progress to be made in the area of shark conservation (to say nothing of overall marine conservation): Shark Week itself points out how little genuine interest there is in (or money to be made from) saving these creatures, and vast amounts of people view getting rid of sharks as a good thing. The film’s main argument is that shark extinction would be catastrophic for the well-being of the ocean and Earth overall: what is needed instead, as one interview subject points out, is an effort that’s “more conservation-oriented, less irresponsibly sensational.” Unfortunately, it’s very clear from this film and my everyday observances that the majority of the media has no interest in such a prospect as they continue to pump viewers full of (mostly, unwarranted) fear.


That the health of the world’s oceans (and in turn, the well-being of the human race) hangs in the balance should make saving sharks a mission of utmost importance – they literally act as the regulators and sanitation agents of the oceans – and Extinction Soup makes a strong case in favor of this cause. Certainly, this film only presents one side of the case, but I’m not sure one could really argue the other side – is it ever a good idea to exterminate a species? While I could say that this documentary operates exactly as one would expect (consistent with something like ) and isn’t an especially bravura piece of cinema, it’s generally well-made and thought-provoking. I’d also have to call this an important work, accomplishing more with its hour-long running time than any five typical Shark Week specials. It’s amazing that using dramatic (and almost corny) orchestral music from composer Randy Miller in combination with images of sharks gliding through the water completely changes the feel of watching these creatures in action. Discovery Channel should take note and, in my opinion, should have more hard-hitting and genuinely provocative programs like this included in their sometimes stale Shark Week lineups. Extinction Soup does ask the hard questions, and even criticizes the “normal” shark-related documentaries that skirt around issues of conservation, but unless these sorts of issues are explored…soon…there won’t be many sharks around to research at all.


This film can be viewed on Amazon and other web streaming services, and also has played on the Fusion Channel.

4/10 : Very disturbing images relating to shark de-finning, including frankly disgusting glimpses of finless sharks waiting to die on the ocean bottom.

0/10 : Nothing major.

0/10 : Nope.

3/10 : An important film no doubt, and one that shark enthusiasts should really try to track down, but fairly typical as a conservationist documentary.

“Sharks have so much more to fear from us than us from them…”

from on .


Shock and Awe in Effect on SHARK WEEK 2015: Night Three

SHARK WEEK 2015: Night Three – Bride of Jaws and Tiburones: Sharks of Cuba

on Discovery Channel


Pros: A further, rather suspenseful “monster hunt” documentary along with a genuinely fascinating survey of previously unexplored waters

Cons: No big payoff in the search for “Joan of Shark,” though I’m not convinced that’s an altogether bad thing…

After a lackluster second night of programming, Shark Week 2015 got back on form on its third day, Tuesday, July 7. This evening saw the premiere of two all-new shows, both of which were quite fascinating in their own way despite some vast differences in approach. First up, we had Bride of Jaws which, like Island of the Mega Shark and others before it, covered the search for ever bigger and ever more elusive great whites, this time off the coast of Australia, while second hour-long program Tiburones: Sharks of Cuba examined the creatures inhabiting the essentially pristine and largely unexplored waters off the coast of this Caribbean nation. Mixing a sort of “monster hunt” episode with one that was more level-headed made this a winning night of shark-related documentaries.

maxresdefaultYUMMY! Incoming “chum shower.”

Certainly, the title of Bride of Jaws and its marketing campaign (most of the commercials leading up to the broadcast focused on a single scene in which an underwater female diver is given a “chum shower” – a cocktail of fish heads, guts, and blood that’s used to attract sharks to research vessels) made it seem like a more sensational and maybe even ludicrous sort of show, but the actual premise here was actually quite story-driven and compelling. In 2014, a nearly 18 foot female white shark was tagged in Australian waters and soon created a social media buzz. Nicknamed “Joan of Shark,” the creature was subsequently tracked up and down the southern Australian coast, prompting authorities to close beaches as she came ever closer to shore. Suddenly, Joan all but vanished, prompting photographer and frequent Shark Week contributor Andy Casagrande, former Australian Navy diver and shark attack survivor Paul de Gelder (previously featured in 2014’s Great White Matrix), and fellow attack survivor Elise Frankcom to try and not only locate but also re-tag the behemoth creature.

14358783221682The real Jaws – “El Monstruo,” which was caught in 1945, weighed an estimated 7000 pounds and measured out at twenty-one feet.

Tuesday’s second hour of original programming, Tiburones: Sharks of Cuba, followed the first official joint Cuban and American expedition as they attempted to document the various shark species that inhabit the waters off the island nation. Cuba has long been known as a haven for large sharks – it was near the small fishing village of Cojimar that a 21-foot great white, known as “El Monstruo” was captured and documented in the 1940s. This specimen still remains the largest white shark ever recorded, and Tiburones not only tries to shed light on this legendary beast (even including an interview with a witness to the creature), but prove that equally ferocious sharks still roam in coastal areas. While somewhat less obviously exciting than the exaggerated drama found in Bride of Jaws, Tiburones has a few moments of suspense of its own while remaining a satisfying if somewhat typical nature documentary.


Almost nothing is known about shark migration patterns or their mating behaviors.  Many Shark Week 2015 programs are striving to change that.

Aside from providing some (vague) insight into shark migration patterns and mating behavior, as might be expected, Bride of Jaws includes a maximum amount of footage of large great whites in action. An explicit demonstration of the power these creatures possess occurs during a moment in which a large shark tears the flotation device on Casagrande’s underwater cage to shreds in a matter of seconds. While this is going on, the camera shows Casagrade being shaken around inside the cage “like he was in a washing machine.” A pair of scenes later in the documentary ratchet the hair-raising intensity up a few dozen notches. One finds double-amputee de Gelder losing his prosthetic hand after a shark grabs hold of a kayak he was about to get into and starts thrashing around: about as alarming a “live” moment as one is likely to see in 2015’s Shark Week. Finally, an eerie scene in which de Gelder and Casagrande swim through a large shipwreck as a shark ominously patrols outside is appropriately scary, virtually recreating a staple scene of “killer sea creature” horror movies like Jaws: The Revenge or Piranha II to name but a few.

hqdefaultWorst thing imaginable for a diver: exploring a shipwreck in the open ocean with a large shark lurking just outside…

Cool as it is to watch as Frankcom comes face to face with the awesome creatures that caused her serious injury just a few years prior, the real jaw-dropping moment during Bride happens when Casagrande, affixed to a sort of rope and pulley system, hangs out over the stern of a research vessel in an attempt to fix a clamping “fin cam” onto live, fourteen-plus foot white sharks. Needless to say, this plan doesn’t quite go as well as might have been hoped and the brave (or is it foolhardy?) researcher finds himself in the drink, caught up in a tangled mess of ropes as large predators swim nearby. Certainly, some expert editing added to the tension in this scene – I don’t think Casagrande was necessarily in as much immediate danger as the program makes it seem – but it still made for some tense and rather hairy documentary footage. I also should add that while the ending of this program didn’t really solve anything or provide a definitive “a-ha!” moment, that’s kind of the way things work with any sort of scientific research: “big payoff” moments are more an anomaly than an everyday occurrence.

Precisely nothing about this moment seems safe to me.

Tiburones: Sharks of Cuba can’t quite measure up in terms of suspense and spookiness with the earlier program, but it’s probably the more rewarding show in terms of the science it reveals. Numerous shark species, including several that typically don’t get much Shark Week screen time, are seen during the program, which culminates in an attempt to apply a satellite tag onto a long-finned mako, a species of shark that’s rarely seen and had never previously been photographed in its natural habitat. Though this tagging effort is pretty wild, there doesn’t seem to have been a whole lot of genuine danger involved in the making of this show…which means it’s probably among the more low-key Shark Week documentaries that will air this year.

mqdefaultThe elusive long-finned mako.

It’s also one of the few that raises some interesting points about shark conservation efforts. Supposedly, the information obtained by the satellite tags deployed during the filming of Tiburones will eventually be used by the Cuban government to establish a shark conservation plan, something that the vast majority of the rest of the world seems very reluctant to develop. I found it kind of amusing that lead expedition scientist Bob Hueter proclaimed that one goal of the joint expedition was to determine why shark species have congregated in Cuba; considering that shark finning operations continue unchecked in much of central and South America – and the fact that Cuba has so much protected marine habitat, including the “Gardens of the Queen” just south of the island where part of this documentary was filmed – it’s a no-brainer that sharks would hang out in the relatively safe – and relatively clean – Cuban waters. It’s pretty sad when one scientist makes a remark that the aforementioned “Gardens of the Queen,” a lush, vibrant habitat for all sorts of marine life, resembles what the Florida Keys looked like “80 years ago…before the population came.” This gives the viewer some indication of what effect human behavior has even on underwater environments.

8934The “Gardens of the Queen.”  This is what a thriving underwater habitat looks like.

I think it’s now safe to say that 2015 is the year that photography accomplished through the use of aerial drones transformed the way that Shark Week played out. The number of stunning aerial shots which provided unique views of live action taking place at water level has risen progressively this week, and while this Discovery Channel staple has never been less than breathtaking in terms of the visuals it provides, drone technology has added a whole new component for Shark Week producers, editors, and directors to make use of. In terms of individual episodes, a viewer now is able to understand the bigger picture of what’s happening at certain key points since the aerial views allow a better grasp of the spatial dynamics in various situations. Undoubtedly, this trend will continue into the future, and I’m hoping the week’s upcoming documentaries remain as scientifically-sound and undeniably interesting as the pair featured on this third night.


No CGI Sharks and Still Compelling Viewing: SHARK WEEK 2015: Night One

SHARK WEEK 2015: Night One – Shark Trek, Island of the Mega Shark, and Monster Mako

on Discovery Channel


Pros:  Factual information and a large amount of amazing footage

Cons:  Nature documentaries are “dry,” right?

Now in its 28th year of existence, Shark Week, Discovery Channel’s annual block of television shows devoted to the ocean’s most captivating predators, began on Sunday, July 5, 2015 with a trio of all-new documentaries that nicely picked up where previous year’s programming stopped. Truth be told, the last several years of Shark Week have gotten increasingly sketchy as faux-documentaries and “monster hunt” shows overwhelmed the actual science and biology that one would think this event was all about. I was particularly perturbed last year when Shark Week made nary a mention of the , which aimed to eliminate large man-eating sharks…by killing any shark, large or small, that a designated team of hunters came across. Thankfully, this year Discovery Channel seems to have realized that the sensationalized and/or straight phony programs and endless string of “I Was Attacked” recollections wasn’t do much to encourage shark conservation – a glance of the preliminary lineup for Shark Week 2015 shows a focus on –gasp!– actual facts and straight-faced documentaries.

shark-week-2015Shark Week 2015 continues the hunt for bigger and badder sharks.

This certainly was the case with the opening day’s lineup which kicked off with Shark Trek. This hour-long program followed researcher Greg Skomal as he continued efforts to tag and study the behavior of the great white sharks off Cape Cod. In the time since last year’s Jaws Strikes Back, Skomal has increased the number of tagged animals to 56 and has begun to analyze the data being relayed by the tags. Some of the most important of this information relates to the migratory habits of the Atlantic white sharks – in the fall of 2014, several animals were tracked as they moved down the American East Coast to warmer regions in Florida – areas where beaches are substantially more popular than those in Massachusetts. Obviously, this brings the sharks in closer proximity to people, and Skomal’s main goal in the investigation here is to find out what drives the shark’s migration and determines where they wind up.

ea72184cac59c184597cacfaa258fa493fcdfd46Skoval attempting to tag a great white with his specially-rigged harpoon.

The second of the opening night’s programs was Island of the Mega Shark, a semi-continuation of a pair of last year’s programs. This show found Dickie Chivell, who proved his insanity by riding a flimsy white shark decoy in last year’s frankly mind-blowing Air Jaws: Fin of Fury, joining forces with Lair of the Mega Shark’s Jeff Kurr and Andy Casagrande to again search for gigantic whites in the waters around Guadalupe Island, which lies off the coast of Baja, Mexico.   This team attempts to solve some of the riddles relating to white shark reproduction, but one of the main points of this program is to again position Chivell as Shark Week’s resident daredevil. This time around, he finds himself in a so-called “ghost cage” whose four clear plastic sides are virtually invisible underwater – thus, he appears to be a free-swimming meal to any of the fourteen-to-sixteen-foot great whites in the area. Add in a malfunctioning door (literally, Chivell has to hold the cage shut) and you’ve got the formula for some crazy TV, but things get really wild when a heavily-pregnant, twenty-plus-foot shark appears on the scene.

d4f8cf5ca7a1c55960bb5ef1ac6b93ee1eb064efChivell in the “ghost cage.”  Ya gotta give it to him: the man has cojones.

Finally, we had a program in Monster Mako that focused its attention on one of the lesser-known shark species, one which is rumored to reach speeds in excess of 30 MPH underwater and breech the surface in amazing fashion when stalking its prey. Despite a sensational title and a more dramatic approach (replete with a gruff-voiced narrator and moments of questionable tension), this program was actually fairly scientifically sound and quite interesting, as two groups of scientists attempted to document not only the speed of the mako sharks which inhabit the Gulf of Mexico, but also their ability to shoot missile-like from the ocean in pursuit of prey. The program eventually makes some interesting observations about the behavior and habits of these creatures, even though the majority of its running time plays as a sort of hunt which finds the two teams attempting to lure in specimens suitable for their research.

08be66c388Monster Mako attempts to distinguish fact from fiction about this shark which, with its streamlined body and distinctive teeth, resembles a torpedo.

Clearly, one of the best things about this block of programming is that it avoided the types of frankly ridiculous mockumentaries of the Shark of Darkness variety. Everything included in Shark Week 2015’s opening day was based in actual fact and – surprise surprise – was far from boring. Sure, the average couch potato might grow tired of the “dry” documentaries featured here, but those honestly interested in sharks – arguably the crowd that Shark Week should be marketed towards in the first place – would eat them up. Even without the addition of giant CGI sharks, this opening night had its share of harrowing moments – particularly when Chivell had to literally push great whites out of his enclosed “ghost cage.” Additionally, there were even a few heartwarming “Aww!” moments provided by the appearance of a nine-year-old shark advocate who joined Skoval in his mission to tag various sharks. The hosts of these various programs are obviously enthusiastic about what they do, making the action they get involved in more compelling to watch.

shark-week-lair-of-the-mega-shark-bNow THAT looks like a big shark.

I’ve always found actual footage of sharks gliding through their marine environments to be stunningly beautiful, and the camerawork throughout these three programs was generally astounding. Especially cool were several sequences filmed near Guadalupe Island which showed the shallow coves where the native seal population attempts to hide from the lurking sharks – with their gently swaying and multicolored undersea plant life, these environments look otherworldly. Additionally, there were numerous aerial shots which showed both individual sharks and an enormous group of black tip sharks migrating off the Florida coast. Amazing as it is to see individual creatures breaking the surface, watching thousands of sharks just offshore around a populated area was jaw-dropping. It was also downright ominous to see huge sharks lurking just on the edge of visibility range in many of the underwater shots – particularly during the numerous dives featured in Island of the Mega Shark. The three shows featured here certainly emphasized the fact that groups of smaller sharks disappearing quickly signaled the arrival of a true monster, and these moments were captured perfectly through the actual camerawork and slick editing of the programs.

This.  Looks.  Dangerous.

On the downside, though both the Shark Cam (from last year’s Jaws Strikes Back) and the “Shark Eye” unit seen in Monster Mako attempted to provide underwater views of the sharks in action – sometimes from the perspective of the shark – neither of these devices really worked as well this time around and didn’t provide quite the unique perspective that one would have hoped for. I would have to say then that camera work through this opening trio of shows, while undeniably excellent (as I’d expect from Discovery Channel), was somewhat conventional and not as outwardly flashy as what I’ve seen in other, similar shows. Again, this didn’t really bother me – I’d rather have authentic representations and actual facts than a continual barrage of flashy visuals with sketchy information tacked alongside.

remus sharkcam topShark Cam – big hit of last year’s Shark Week, didn’t so much as get deployed this time around.  Bummer.

Overall, Shark Trek, Island of the Mega Shark, and Monster Mako provided a wealth of solid information that would appeal to both the Shark Week veteran and newcomer.  There was a nice amount of generalized information in these programs, as well as a chronicle of more individualized efforts to learn more about various shark species.  The variety of topics covered here and fascinating overall presentation made for a strong opening night of Shark Week 2015.  Since there’s no Megalodon in sight, I’m certainly looking forward to seeing what the rest of the week offers.  This year’s edition of the Discovery Channel staple might not create intense water cooler discussion or ignite a social media firestorm, but I think it’s commendable that a more low-key approach with dedication to facts has been applied.


JAWS Turns 40: A Commentary and Review of JAWS 3-D



Pros: The 3-D is actually pretty cool no matter what anyone says; enjoyable enough as a time-waster

Cons: Many aspects of the film are problematic…

June 20, 2015 marked the fortieth anniversary of the release of Steven Spielberg’s original Jaws, a film that provided Hollywood with the blueprint by which most every future blockbuster would be made and remains one of the most suspense-filled pictures ever. In honor of this event, the film was re-released for a limited number of theatrical showings with an introduction provided by Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz. Seeing this film in theaters, as I did this past weekend, makes one appreciate just what an magnificent achievement it was in 1975: though it features a rarely seen – and obviously rubber – “monster,” the tension level of the piece increases steadily, especially during its second half in which the three main characters actively hunt down a gigantic man-eating shark (it was clear during the screening I attended that several audience members were experiencing the film for the first time – one young moviegoer commented afterward that it was “unbearable” in terms of its tension level – quite a feat for a flick now entering its fourth decade of existence).  This theatrical screening also demonstrated just how innovative and astounding the sound design and editing was: Jaws (deservedly) won the Oscar in this category, though it’s difficult to appreciate this aspect of the film when viewing it at home.

Fa2j0FELet’s face it: any and all Jaws sequels suffered from a lack of Robert Shaw’s Quint character.

Though I can’t remember the first time that I saw many of the thousands of films that I’ve watched in my lifetime, I clearly remember the first time I saw Jaws: in the upstairs of my grandparent’s house, alone one Sunday night. Having been mesmerized by what I was seeing, I instantly fell in love not only with this film, but movies in general – and horror movies in particular. I have many fond childhood memories of watching the various Jaws sequels – the capably-made second film and the hideously awful fourth one Jaws: The Revenge among them.  It may be the third film in the series, 1983’s Jaws 3-D, that’s the oddest one of the bunch: usually referred to simply as Jaws 3, this film featured many visuals that, when viewed in standard 2-D format, looked strangely “flat” and out-of-place.

Moments like this look terrible in 2-D prints of the film…

While the film has never been officially released in the United States in its original 3-D format (which is puzzling considering the recent resurgence of the format), I had the opportunity to view this version of the film, which required the familiar red and cyan glasses. Jaws 3-D has frequently been referred to as having little connection to the other films in the series and that’s an honest enough statement. Admittedly, the film was written without any connection to the previous films, with the Mike and Sean Brody characters tossed in randomly and arbitrarily at the last minute per the request of the studio. Additionally, while the previous two Jaws films (and part of Jaws: The Revenge) took place on the vacation community of Amity Island, Jaws 3-D takes place at an ocean-side Sea World park that’s preparing for its grand opening. Funded by an oily businessman named Calvin Bouchard (enter a slick and sleazy Louis Gossett, Jr.), the park’s main attraction is a labyrinthine network of underwater tunnels that traverse an on-site lagoon and allow patrons a glimpse at various species of fish and marine life dwelling there. On some level, the film is more about the park and its personnel dealing with unfortunate events than about a killer shark on the rampage, and I think some of the problems people have with the film is that it never quite settles into any familiar story formula.

vlcsnap-2014-03-16-14h49m52s291…inspiring this sort of reaction.

Head of the mechanical department at the Sea World park is Mike Brody (played by a young Dennis Quaid), son of Amity police chief Martin, who is romantically involved with the park’s head dolphin trainer Kathy (perky Bess Armstrong), and as the film begins, these two are preparing for a visit from Mike’s younger brother Sean (again, a character featured in the earlier Jaws films who’s played here by John Putch). Mike, Kathy, Sean, and Calvin are in for a surprise however, since it quickly becomes clear that an unexpected guest has arrived at the park in the form of a juvenile great white shark. While Calvin wants to exterminate the creature, Kathy recognizes its value as a potential draw for park visitors – no marine park in the world has a live great white on display. Where there’s a young shark however, it’s mother can’t be far behind, and when this – are you ready for it? – thirty-five foot mean mama arrives on the scene, the fate of the park and everyone in it comes into jeopardy.

jaws-3-1983-movie-06Entrance to the “Undersea Kingdom” at the fictional Sea World park featured in the film.  The film’s 3-D looks especially good when relating the distance between objects in the frame’s background and foreground.

Jaws 3-D was the product of several writers (famed author Richard Matheson and Jaws series veteran Carl Gottlieb are credited with the screenplay, working from an original treatment by Guerdon Trueblood, known to me as the director of the enjoyably trashy 1973 exploitation flick The Candy Snatchers) – and it shows: the basic story here is kind of a mess, walking the tightrope between seeming like a ‘70s disaster movie and a more recognizable horror film, getting especially clunky as it nears its conclusion. One can notice a few glimpses of Matheson attempting to create some interesting moments in an otherwise lame picture (one scene in which a Sea World spokesman attempts to “cover his ass” in a television interview when it’s very apparent that human lives are in danger in the park is a not-so-subtle jab at modern politicians), but the writer was reportedly furious over various rewrites and “doctoring” that changed the whole complexion of his work.

32How is it possible that the quality of the shark model actually decreased as the series went along despite numerous special effect innovations?

First-and-only-time director Joe Alves Jr., production designer on Spielberg’s original Jaws, was at the helm here and clearly was in over his head. Producers of the picture believed that the 3-D gimmick could hide some of Alves’s directorial miscues, and it probably does to some degree. Still, Jaws 3-D exists in a world of murk, and not just because of its clumsy script: three cinematographers are credited (Chris Condon, James A. Contner, and Austin McKinney), but by and large the picture is muddy and dark. A viewer can’t see what’s going on during many of the key moments, a notion that’s only accentuated by Alves’s poor handling of various moments of excitement: it’s actually at its worse whenever the “feeding machines” do show up.


Jaws 3-D shark attacks — with actual murk!!

Special effects were accomplished using a variety of techniques, but the mother shark is largely related to the screen by use of an obviously mechanized mock-up that’s capable of precisely three actions – swishing its head left, right, and articulating its jaw line. The creature never seems capable of actually “attacking” anyone – it’s way too lumbering and sluggish to even catch up to most potential prey items, making any of the poorly-visualized attack sequences more perplexing and goofy than scary (a viewer has to use a lot of imagination to make sense of what’s being seen). This is especially true during a sequence when cocky underwater photographer Philip FitzRoyce (played in the manner of a chauvinistic hotshot by British actor Simon MacCorkindale) attempts to lure the beast into a drain pipe where it can be contained and exterminated. Viewers see FitzRoyce swimming in front of the shark one minute and inside the creature’s gullet the next, as if he’d been virtually inhaled by the fish. Simply put: the mama shark is never effectively sold as a threatening or even especially intimidating menace even though it does manage to all but shut the park down by destroying the underwater infrastructure.

Admittedly, Jaws 3-D is no masterpiece – even when compared to the generally mediocre second film in the series, but it does have a few positive elements working in it. Viewed in its original 3-D version, visuals have a nice sense of “depth” to them, with objects in the foreground appearing closer to the viewer than ones in the back. The actual 3-D effect images (which include a floating fish head, severed arm, and the final sequence in which a shark approaches and smashes through the large window of an underwater control room) are pretty nifty despite the sketchy quality of the photography: these moments definitely look better in the film’s original version than they do on 2-D TV and video prints, which points more to flaws in the film’s transfer to 2-D than to anything inherently wrong with the actual production. Goofy though they are, I rather like the POV shots of one character being swallowed by the shark: clearly, being eaten alive is one of the most basic of human fears (it’s why the Jaws franchise was so successful in the first place), and Jaws 3-D is one of the few movies that attempts to capture what a victim would actually see if that happened.  Finally, Alan Parker’s music score for this film is quite excellent, precisely capturing whatever mood was required. Aside from a majestic main title, Parker’s score is able to reflect the excitement of the park’s grand opening and even manages to create some semblance of tension during otherwise forgettable attack scenes.

j3d23-D Magic!

Overly melodramatic and relentlessly talky for long stretches of time, featuring a bare minimum of shark action and an amazingly corny final shot (I chuckle every time I see it), Jaws 3-D nevertheless is agreeable enough as a pure popcorn flick, leaps and bounds more tolerable than the completely abysmal Jaws: The Revenge. Sure, some viewers will gasp and sneer at the noticeable lack of logic and pure stupidity of the film – and rightly so – but Jaws 3’s cast does a fair job of selling the sub-par script (look for a young and plucky Lea Thompson in a smaller role) and the 3-D is actually pretty cool to watch. One could point out that director Alves clearly had no business being handed the reins of this franchise, but his picture did make a significant amount of money, so it can’t be called a complete failure. For me, this is a definite “guilty pleasure” flick: one that clearly isn’t a good movie but is enjoyable in its own way. I can’t in good faith recommend Jaws 3-D, but those who like goofy genre films will probably be amused and/or entertained.


An anaglyph 3-D version of this film is only available as a – ahem – bootleg, most of which were sourced from a now-ancient VCD release. Universal’s official DVD release is the standard 2-D version, with only the theatrical trailer as an extra – a lousy package anyway one looks at it.

5/10 : A few gross dead bodies and some onscreen carnage, but not nearly as visceral as other films in the series.

4/10 : Intermittent profanity.

2/10 : Some scantily-clothed women and mild sexual innuendo and situations. No nudity.

6/10 : Will appeal to shark movie aficionados as well as those who just like bad cinema.

“Daddy…Daddy…Look at the fish!!!”

YOU’VE HIT SOMETHING! or is it nothing? JAWS for the NES

JAWS for the Nintendo Entertainment System



Pros: It’s fun – to a certain point

Cons: VERY short gameplay; zero replay value and quite easy once you know what you’re doing

Another in a long line of rather pathetic licensed movie-based games released for the Nintendo Entertainment System, Jaws (published by LJN in 1989) may be one of the shortest (in terms of gameplay) titles released for the system. Loosely based on the basic plot of the abysmal 1987 film Jaws: The Revenge (which should give you a relative idea of what we’re dealing with here), the game takes place in the northern Caribbean, as the player pilots a sailboat around a crude map of Florida, the Keys, and the Bahamas. As the player sails around in overhead view, he will randomly “HIT SOMETHING,” which results in the release of a diver to go into a side-view underwater scene. While underwater, the diver encounters various (apparently deadly) sea life, including rays, jellyfish, and sharks which can be dispatched using the diver’s trusty harpoon gun. The player has an endless supply of spears, so feel free to load the screen with projectiles and listen to the grunting sound that the harpoon gun makes each times it’s fired. Upon killing some of these sea creatures, certain rewards will be revealed: a starfish, for instance, gives instant points to the player’s score, while conch shells recovered underwater act as the in-game currency and can be used to buy power-ups at one of two harbors around the region.

Overhead view seen as the player pilots the sailboat around the map.

Of course, the main goal of the game is to fight and defeat Jaws, the massive shark also cruising around the islands. Occasionally, the creature’s large dorsal fin will break water near the boat, and if the boat and fin make contact, the diver is sent down in an attempt to defeat the shark. This is near impossible in the early stages of the game, which brings us to the exchange of conch shells. It is absolutely imperative that a player exchange conch shells for power level upgrades since that’s the ONLY way that Jaws’ power level (visible on screen at all times) can be lowered. To aid in the acquisition of conch, a “bonus level” shows up every once in a while where the player must bomb jellyfish using an airplane. Yeah, I know; logic isn’t quite this game’s strong point, but for every 3 jellyfish that are destroyed by bombs, one conch shell is awarded. Once a player’s power level reaches at least level three (higher levels are better), it becomes possible through repeat attacks to lower Jaws’ power level to zero. At this point, the game enters its “final battle” sequence. In this “first person perspective” scene, the player must wait until Jaws (who is swimming around ferociously back and forth onscreen) is positioned correctly in front of the player’s boat, at which point a strobe is used to make him jump out of the water. Finally, the player must ram the shark’s underbelly with the pointed front end of the ship to put an end his (more annoying than threatening) rampage. The player is given a finite number of strobes; failing to kill Jaws during this sequence results more or less in the whole process of lowering Jaws’ power level having to be repeated from the beginning.

Sing it with me…”UNDER THE SEA…UNDA DA SEA…”

Par for the course in NES games, the undersea levels get more difficult as the game progresses. While jellyfish bubble up from the bottom of the screen and rays go horizontally across it throughout the game, in later stages, the jellies can move diagonally and “hunt down” the diver, creating a frequently hairy situation to try and play through. When Jaws shows up onscreen at precisely the wrong moment, the results can be pretty catastrophic for the player, who now must deal with a huge, hungry shark tracking his every movement along with the jellies, rays, and small sharks. All that said, this game is ridiculously easy once one gets the hang of it – and it’s almost absurdly short. It’s very possible (and relatively easy) to beat this game in all of about five minutes of playing time – a huge contrast to the near-impossible Friday the 13th movie tie-in game also released by LJN. Sure, you can play the game longer and search the overhead map for the elusive (and invaluable) minisub that allows the diver to utilize missiles and bombs underwater in addition to having better mobility, or build up a large power level and make it easier to defeat Jaws. Conversely, a player can literally turn this game on, hit about five or six underwater scenes, quickly power up to a level 3 and beat Jaws all in a few minutes. It’s games like this that make it impossible to believe that people shelled out fifty bucks at one time for brand new Nintendo games – some titles were worth that price, but many – oh so many – were not.

Final game sequence, in which the player must ram Jaws with the pointed bow of the boat.

Graphically speaking, Jaws (developed by Westone Bit Entertainment) gets the job done, but really is nothing special. The background screens in the underwater sequences are identical, and though it’s easy enough to distinguish the creature sprites from one another, they all look pretty crude, as if a minimum of effort really went into this game’s construction (Jaws himself, for instance, is pretty dumb looking swinging his apparently toothless snout back and forth as he swims along). The sequence where the player has to ram Jaws with the boat to finally kill him is a little more polished visually, and the sense of perspective during this particular scene makes it more challenging to line up the boat in order to deliver a fatal blow onto the jumping shark. Easily, the best bit of graphics in the entire game is the colorful concluding shot (i.e. when you beat the game), which shows the sunset happening in the horizon past a tropical island.

The receiver: most useless game power up ever – I CAN SEE THE SHARK; I DON’T NEED THIS F*$%ING ALARM GOING OFF WHENEVER IT’S AROUND!

Music and sound in the game is kind of hit or miss. Composer Shinichi Sakamoto gets to recreate John Williams’ instantly recognizable “shark theme” for the title screen, but the rest of the music here is pretty dull. Music heard during scenes where the player pilots the boat around the map is kind of cool in that it seems to simulate rising and falling seas, but the undersea music is repetitive to the extreme. Probably the best music cues here (aside from the pleasant “end game” tune) are  brief, rousing accents that indicate that either the game is starting or that the player’s boat has indeed “HIT SOMETHING.” Overall, the sound is pretty mediocre; the “dog bark” harpoon sound is the one (only?) thing a player will likely remember from this game simply because you’ll hear that damn sound effect hundreds of times.


Though this game does offer a bit of a challenge for the player who isn’t familiar with the intricacies of how the game works, Jaws has extremely minimal replay value once a player has figured out how to beat it – every playthrough would be exactly the same. Add in the fact that the game is so incredibly brief (the only NES game I can think of that’s quite as short as this is the positively abominable unlicensed game Chiller that used the Nintendo Zap Gun) and you’ve got a game that may be worth playing a time or two, but hardly is worth tracking down. Jaws probably isn’t the absolute worst movie-based game for the NES (I might give that title to The Hunt for Red October or Wayne’s World), but I’d put it in the bottom tier: that statement should say about all one needs to know.


Gameplay (and yes, this game is entirely beatable in under four minutes):

“We’re Going to Need a Much, Much Bigger…Decoy…” MEGALODON: THE MONSTER SHARK LIVES




Pros: Fairly convincing presentation; nature footage; sharks

Cons: Um, it ain’t real. Yep, that’s the kicker.

“In April 2013, Discovery Channel crews were granted exclusive access to document the investigation of a downed fishing vessel off the coast of South Africa. The footage captured during this investigation is now being shown on television for the first time…”

So begins the 2013 made-for-cable special Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives. This program, originally run during 2013’s Shark Week, chronicles the process by which marine biologist Collin Drake, with the help of fellow scientist Madelyn Joubert and shark expert Mike Bhana, came to believe that a giant marine predator was stalking the world’s oceans. After the mysterious sinking of a fishing boat, an examination of the wreck reveals the vessel was torn to shreds, with video evidence recovered in the debris seeming to suggest that something hit the boat from underneath. Subsequently, a local eyewitness reveals a startling photograph that seems to show a giant shark attacking a stricken whale, prompting Drake and his colleagues to being a full on examination of giant sharks. During this time they uncover various other stories and images that seem to collaborate the idea that the Megalodon shark, a 100 foot long relative of the Great White that was thought to go extinct some 10,000 years ago or more, is still alive and well. With this knowledge in hand, Drake, Joubert, and Bhana take the investigation to its logical(?) conclusion by attempting to hunt down and tag a Megalodon in the wild. Dealing with such a massive creature however may be more dangerous than any of the scientists had imagined….

If Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives sounds like a bad Syfy Channel movie, that’s because it may as well be. Though this “Monster Shark Meets The Blair Witch Project” was originally broadcast on a channel known for its (supposed) educational programming, Megalodon, much like a 2012 Animal Planet special that had viewers wondering if mermaids were real, is a completely fictional program. Sure, it looks like any number of legitimate documentary specials, going so far as to have extensive talking head interviews and “cliffhanger” hooks that turn up just before any commercial break, but I’d shudder to think that much of anyone would be convinced by the not-so-hot acting and bargain-basement CGI animation that’s used to depict the monster sharks. Any of the “evidence” brought forth by this program looks incredibly hokey – I’ve never been a fan of CGI in the first place, but much of the footage presented here looks to be (at best) late 1990s-era animation. A photoshopped image of a giant pectoral fin planted onto an image that supposedly shows a whale being attacked or a “vintage photograph” of German U-boats patrolling the African coast that reveals a large shark cruising in the background are bad enough, but when a straight-up fabricated image of a beached whale that’s been bitten in half appears in the program, I suspect most viewers would be ready to say that enough is enough. The actual Megalodon here looks only slightly more convincing than the rubbery mechanical effects that featured in the enjoyably terrible Jaws 3-D that was made in 1983.

“WHOA LOOK AT THA…wah…wait a second…”

The fact that this program was a hoax led to an incredible backlash against the Discovery Channel: after all, aren’t the things on this channel supposed to be “real?” The ironic thing about this discussion is that it only takes a brief perusal of the types of programming seen on this channel to realize that viewers are constantly being manipulated and or straight lied to. This just in: there is nothing real about most so-called “reality TV;” the filming and editing process alone ensures manipulation. Thus Amish Mafia, Deadliest Catch, and (dozens of) other reality shows on the channel all contain material that’s at the very least, not entirely accurate. The only honest difference then between any of these programs and the Megalodon special is that people may have actually believed that Megalodon was in fact accurate, which ultimately says more about the viewers themselves than about anything Discovery Channel was doing. In an era where shows about monsters or the unknown capture the viewers imagination no matter how ridiculous they really are from any logical perspective, the viewing public seems all to willing to buy what they’re seeing on TV as being as least partially credible. This explains the popularity of thought-provoking but generally absurd (and scientifically suspect) programs like Ancient Aliens, flagrantly dishonest and ludicrous things like Mountain Monsters, and also hints at why some people legitimately believed that mermaids exist following Animal Planet’s Mermaids: The Body Found. Seems you can fool some of the people all the time.

Animal Planet’s Mermaid mockumentary is the obvious blueprint that inspired Megalodon, and an unsuspecting viewer in all likelihood could have taken it as being authentic. The show is presented in exactly the same manner of most of the legitimate documentaries that are out there, with a narrator explaining the situations as we see Drake and his crew examining evidence and forming opinions. Much of the program plays almost in the manner of a mystery and is rather talky – it’s only late in the game where Megalodon starts to pretty obviously rip a page out of the Jaws playbook and feature the inevitable hunting sequence finale. Similar to numerous faux-documentaries over the years (the ghoulishly convincing 1980 shocker Cannibal Holocaust in my estimation being the best of the best), Megalodon makes great use of the fact that viewers of these types of programs equate shaky and shoddy camerawork with verisimilitude. Thus, the moments in which something exciting is happening onscreen are typically precisely the moment when the camera starts to fail, providing only fleeting glimpses of the action. The “big finale” moment is, as expected, nearly all smoke and mirrors.

Looks almost as bad as this….

As much as I could trash some of the CGI here and, frankly, got tired of seeing the same (admittedly) animated footage of a giant shark attacking a whale, some of the computer effects are pretty decent. During the final quarter of the program where a tremendous bait slick and a full-size mock whale are utilized in order to lure in the beast, aerial photography enhanced with convincing graphics complete the illusion that this is actually happening. The film also contains some decent nature footage (including footage of white sharks swimming around a shark cage and performing aerial feeding maneuvers) and it was fascinating to see real images of so-called “Lazarus species” (animals previously thought to be extinct) like the giant squid, narwhal, megamouth shark and coelacanth that were presented in order to show that it’s possible a Megalodon could go unnoticed in the world’s ocean. It’s typically when computers are used to render living animals that problems arise in the show: I was none too impressed with underwater shots of (normal-sized) great whites circling a shark cage. Additionally, the acting among the humans in the piece feels stiff and forced, especially true for Darron Meyer who appears as Drake. Eventually, it simply becomes difficult to believe the events in this story are occurring spontaneously, which may ultimately be why the film doesn’t quite achieve a genuinely authentic feel.

Say what you want about it, but Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives (directed by Douglas Glover from a script by John McLaughlin) undoubtedly achieved exactly what it set out to do. It certainly got people talking about the possibility that this creature did exist, and probably got people to tune into the Discovery Channel in droves. It’s worth noting at this point that, not only does the human race have almost no idea of what exactly exists in the world’s oceans, but that there have been worldwide reports of giant sharks (including the 30-foot “submarine” reported in South Africa that’s mentioned in this program). In many ways, to learn that large sharks prowl the world’s oceans wouldn’t be all that surprising, so I’d be inclined to say that this program isn’t as far-fetched as some people might believe.

I think the main problem people had with the show was that it was presented as factual from the beginning, thus the show convinced gullible viewers that it indeed was authentic. One has to (gasp!) READ in order to know for certain this program was “dramatized,” and even then, these declarations are brief and ambiguous. Knowing then, that people were furious when they learned the program was fake says to me that this program was entirely successful. Had this been a made-for-video movie not at all connected to an educational TV channel, it likely would have just been taken as the worthwhile time-waster that it is and forgotten. It’s fortunate then that Discovery did take a chance with a program of this nature since it did get people talking about and interested in this subject. In the end, though it’s incurred plenty of wrath since it was first broadcast, if a viewer enters this program knowing full well the entire thing is a hoax and just goes along for the ride, it would be an entertaining way to spend two hours or so. After all, this can’t be any worse than half the stuff that plays on Syfy….

I don’t believe this has been released on DVD; it is available streaming and does play fairly regular-like on Animal Planet and/or Discovery.

4/10 : Some gore and violence related to shark attacks; really, the original Jaws is ten times worse than this.

2/10 : Maybe a few minor curse words; nothing major.

0/10 : Not a damn thing.

8/10 : Maligned by many, appreciated by few; it may take a special type to appreciate this.

“If we chum, it’ll come…”